The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
