just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
