david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
