Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
