I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
