No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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