in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You ruined the universe
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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