Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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