I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize