Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
