Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
