he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you still have your period?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize