no. you can't hotbox the world.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
