we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
