Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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