If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
