I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
zippers are such a cool invention
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize