We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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