Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
