I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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