Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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