Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Houston, we have a blender
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
