do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
