You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
