I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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