And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
