How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize