I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
