sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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