I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
