so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
