I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
