you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
