Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
