We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
