this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
this boner is exhausting
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize