If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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