You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
