It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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