how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
