Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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