im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
