if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
