i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
