i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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