It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
