Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
