come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
