so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
