Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
