I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
