Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
