But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize