I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
