Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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