my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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