your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
